Zoe's Birthday: Dad's Point of View

So, Zoe told you about her experience on her birthday.  My participation, naturally, was a little different.  As the Dad on "Labor Day," I had the less-than-unique role of "being supportive."  Nevertheless, I had high expectations to participate as much as possible during labor, even if I did not yet know my moment-to-moment responsibilities.

The morning of Friday 3/18/11 started with tardiness.  It was my fault; I was busy making sure the iPad was "pimped" with episodes of Judge Judy, and packing the final items for what was seemingly a 2-week vacation to the hospital.  We got to the hospital about 15 minutes late (915am); by that time, the media (Zarwis and Pangises) had been alerted, and shortly after Mom and Dad Pangis arrived at the hospital.  Nikki was also greeted by two nurses and Maria the doula, as well as Dr Rezvani, who began the induction process.  Nikki was hooked up to an IV with a Pitocin drip and the doctor broke her water, which is not as messy as you would think.  In the meantime, the only thing I could do was stand by and hold Nikki's hand, look, listen and wait.  We were still a long way from having a baby; according to Dr Rezvani, we should anticipate delivery sometime after 5pm.

The doctor left, and we all waited.  What do I do now?

For a little while we all hung out and chatted.  I learned about Marie's family and we talked about my in-laws' current home construction.  We also watched The Price is Right and the NCAA basketball tournament.  As Ambassador of Ziggy, I blasted an email announcing labor.  All in all, I still had the feeling of some confusion as far as my upcoming role in the delivery room: Marie was there to coach, the nurses were monitoring contractions, Mom and Dad P were keeping Nikki talking; what was my job?

Around 12pm, I was told to get some lunch "while I still had the chance."  Since I've never been thru labor before, I wasn't sure exactly what that meant.  Isn't Nikki in labor right now?  Could the baby not come while I'm searching for the cafeteria?  Am I being shooed away?  Nevertheless, I did as I was told, and I found a pre-made lobster salad at the Cafe on the opposite side of the hospital.  Even though I was instructed to take my time, I brought my meal back to the room because I didn't want to miss any part of the (non) action.

It's now about 1230pm, and everyone is still relatively casual.  Nikki is about 1cm dilated, but she's having regular but minor contractions.  Marie rubs her back while she Nikki breathes through them.  I can tell that Nikki can only focus on the contraction when it's happening, but she is otherwise her normal self between them.

By about 2pm, Nikki's contractions begin to intensify a bit, and she asks her parents to move to the common waiting room.  The nurse says Nikki is 2cm dilated, we need 10cm, we are still a long way the end.  My job (finally) was to apply counter-pressure to Nikki's lower back through her contractions while Marie reminded her to breathe.

By 4pm Nikki was 4cm, and her mood suddenly changed completely -- she flipped from being too cold to too hot, and her deep breaths became deep moans.  She starting saying she had to go to the bathroom -- I knew this meant that the baby was on its way down, but what I didn't know was how close the baby was from coming out.  As the nurses started scurrying and Marie said, "We don't want any babies falling into the toilet," I began to realize that Ziggy's arrival was truly becoming a reality.  The intensity of these moments was more in-line with how I imagined what labor would be like.  The question now was, how long would this intensity last?

At about 425pm, Dr Rezvani burst onto the scene.  By now Nikki is lying on the bed and asking if she can push.  "Sure!" says everyone collectively.  Wow, I can't believe she's really gonna push.  I stood by her, holding her hand and speaking straight into her ear as she prepared for the final stages.  To me she is delirious at this point, and all of her actions are instinctive and reflexive, not calculated.

After two pushes we can all see the baby's head sticking out.  The doctor tells Nikki to reach down and feel the baby's head, and I'll never forget the look on her face when she felt it.  Her eyes popped straight out of her head!  To me, it was the first in a series of very special moments.

Finally, at 4:36pm and on the third push, Ziggy was here.  She was slimy and blue, and the doctor plopped her right on Mom's stomach while the nurses cleaned her up.  We heard a little whimper and we knew everything was alright.

My emotions at this point are difficult to express.  In many ways I felt disoriented from the chaos: watching the baby get treated, cutting the cord, taking pictures, and comprehending the occasion results in a mix of feelings (all good ones).  I remember physically feeling tingly, teary, and a little short of breath, but ready to celebrate.  Ultimately there was little left to do but take in the moment and congratulate my wife on a perfect, natural delivery of a healthy baby girl named Zoe.

After about 30 minutes of private time, I resumed my role as Ambassador of Zoe and announced her birth to the growing crowd of paparazzi in the waiting room.  It was the culmination of (more than) nine months of ups and downs and blogging and suspense and excitement and anticipation.  She was finally here, and I finally cracked as I broke the news to the rest of the family.

So, now that the EASY part is over, let the baby-raising madness begin.